Congregations who focus deeply on adult discipleship development and make it the highest possible value are unlikely to experience unhealthy conflict. Such adult discipleship development includes discernment and development of the spiritual gifts, life skills, and personality preferences of its congregational participants. It then mobilizes people in mission and ministry within and beyond their immediate context.
If this adult discipleship development process is impactful the congregation will be too much on mission to be disrupted by unhealthy conflict. It will realize it has more important things to do than determine who is right. It is too busy doing what is good and loving. It is also likely to be captivated by an empowering vision for the congregation which is one of the greatest inoculations against experiencing unhealthy conflict.
When people are obviously growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ [2 Peter 3:18], they also tend to be concerned about the spiritual growth of others. Rather than wanting to keep other people from being what they do not want them to be, they want other people to grow in Christ also. Therefore, they want to hear, understand, and seek to affirm the spiritual journey of others as well as their own. With this attitude it is hard to also be in unhealthy conflict with those persons, although there may not be agreement at all points.
Mobilization is the new assimilation. Mobilization that involves missional engagement as a part of an intentional disciplemaking process can be the best type of assimilation. It is a great way to build relationships within the congregation to help people know and understand one another. People who have common experiences are more likely to pray for one another, appreciate one another, be tolerant of one another, and be slow to anger. People who lack common experiences are less likely to pray for one another, have little appreciation for one another, are intolerant of viewpoints and actions with which the do not agree, and are quick to express anger.
When new people genuinely are made to feel a part of the congregation then long-tenured people will not be threatened by them and ignite unnecessary conflict. When longer tenured people seek to understand the spiritual needs and stylistic preferences of newer people then they are more permission-giving of the programs, ministries, and activities shorter tenured people need to connect with God and one another. Often conflict arises between shorter term members and longer term members over what is the future vitality and vibrancy within the congregation. Longer term members focus more on where the congregation has been. Shorter term members as a whole will never quite get it about the past because they did not experience it.
If, however, few or none of these intentional disciplemaking activities are happening in a congregation then they become highly susceptible to experiencing unhealthy conflict. They are not on a spiritual pilgrimage or journey together. They express more characteristics of being a mob than being a community.
To what extent is your congregation engaged in an intentional disciplemaking process?
Copyright 2009, Rev. George Bullard, D.Min
